Deal and Deliver

Have you ever been screwed over in business or in a relationship? Have you ever agreed on an arrangement with someone, but either they did not deliver what they promised, or you somehow ended up paying way more than you expected to (either with money or some other currency)? Were you actually clear with them upfront? Or did you just assume that everything would work out fine?

So many people enter into relationships (business or personal), and get caught up in the excitement of it, without being clear on what the terms are. It is important to clarify what you expect from the other person, and what they expect from you. Are you on the same page? With business, if you don’t clarify who is doing what, for how long, how everyone is getting paid, and what happens if things go wrong, then things can get messy when expectations are not being met.

Most people have no clue what they would really like. They believe if they are kind and nice, everyone will deliver kind and nice things to them. Unfortunately, most of the time, “do unto others as you would like them to do unto you” doesn’t work because you are not willing to see what someone wants to deliver, what they will deliver, and what the deal is for them.

“Deal and deliver” is a way for you to get clear with people. You can use it in your relationships, your friendships, in business – with anyone. In order to create what you would like in life, use these questions to get clear with people:

1. What is the deal?

2. What do I want delivered? “Can this person deliver? Will they deliver?”

3. What do I have to deliver to get what I want?

4. What am I unwilling to ask for?

With this way of functioning, you can be very exact. When people talk about money, they usually talk around money. They are never clear about it. They create confusion, so you have no idea what they are going to charge you, or how it’s going to turn out, or what is going to be delivered. When you use the word “exactly” the person has to commit to what they are saying and can’t weasel out of it.

In any business or relationship, you have to get clear about exactly what the deal is. People will do everything they can to weasel, but if you ask “exactly” how it’s going to work, they have to be succinct about how it’s going to work, and you will get a different result. You have to ask:

• Exactly what is that going to look like?
• Exactly how is this going to work?
• Exactly what are you going to deliver?
• Exactly when are you going to deliver it?
• Exactly what is that going to cost?
• Exactly what do you expect of me?
• Exactly what do I have to do in order to get this?

You don’t tend to want to do this because you want the world to be based on trust. “Deal and Deliver” is what you have to function from. If you are willing to be present, you can change anything.

If the deal is not working, then ask: “Do we need to change this or do we need to end this?” If you need to create something different, you say, “I’m confused. Can you help me please?” Then the other person has to explain, validate, or justify. People will take care of you if you ask them to help you.

The gift of deal and deliver is that instead of having “foggy” areas in your life, you have clarity. You get to know what’s actually true for you and true for the other person. You don’t go into anything from the point of view that leaves you with less than possibility. You want to get the difference in the point of view you can have, not the limitations that a point of view will give you. How do you get a more expanded point of view? That’s what people need.