What’s Love Got to Do With Relationships?
What has love got to do with anything? In a word? Nothing!
Many of you will crucify me for saying that, when, in reality, you choosing the distraction of love is what is crucifying you. Love has at least four trillion meanings, none of which create the gratitude that choosing your partner anew in every ten seconds can create.
Most of you use love as a form of commitment which backs you into the corner of no choice. The moment you make a commitment, you have to judge non-stop whether you and your partner are meeting that commitment. There is no space for gratitude, no space for anything except limiting what you can each contribute.
The reality is, you can’t generate your life from the past, which is often represented by the obligations and the promises you have made to keep others happy and comfortable. What if your promises were only good for ten seconds? What else could be possible beyond the limits of committing to a relationship that excludes you committing to your life?
So what else is possible?
You could uncreate and destroy everything your relationship has been every single day and then ask ‘okay, what’s possible today?’
You could choose to be present in the relationship every single day by asking ‘Truth, am I choosing this relationship today?’ Every choice is good for ten seconds. This gives you the freedom to be mad at your partner for ten seconds, and then to choose again.
You could choose to generate the relationship to be more in each moment, rather than relying on the past and what you have in common. Two great questions to ask are “If I was truly being me in this relationship, what would I choose? If I was truly being me in this relationship, what would I create?”
Taking this kind of approach will gift you an awareness of the gratitude you have for the person you are choosing relationship with. When you truly have gratitude for someone, there can be no judgement. Have you noticed how much judgement is projected at you in the name of ‘love’? What if there is another possibility? What if your phenomenal future together starts with gratitude, not love…?
Gary Douglas has written several books on the topic of Relationships, ‘Sex Isn’t a Four Letter Word, But Relationship Often Times Is‘ can be found in the Access Consciousness Shop along with ‘The Gentlemen’s Club‘, and ‘Salon des Femmes.’