Insults and bullying are only effective when the bully offers you a judgment of you, and you start judging yourself in the same way.
Aggressive, abusive, threatening and insulting. Donald Trump’s recent conduct may be exceptional in a couple of ways; it is widely publicized and it is played out in the usually-restrained theatre of American politics. But research shows that a vast majority of people (72%) regularly deal with, or are victims of, this type of bullying behavior in their workplace.
Sadly, the majority of workplace bully situations are only resolved when the perpetrator moves on voluntarily. But I believe there are more effective, and more empowering ways, to deal with difficult personalities. The first vital step is to look at the situation clearly and honestly.
There are several things you can do to deal with aggressive and intimidating people in the workplace. The number one thing is to acknowledge them for what they are.
Most people, when they get an angry or an upset person in their life, tend to want to resist. But if you put up a barrier, they’ll keep hammering at you trying to get that barrier down. If, however, you let them express themselves without reacting back – if you pull their energy away from them – they will run out of steam and, pretty soon, everything’s done. You gain control.
Here are some practical tools to help you keep the bullies at bay:
- Have allowance – Allowance is where everything is just an interesting point of view. If you can understand that this person is not “right or wrong,” they just have an interesting point of view, then you don’t have to take anything they say personally. You can see the situation as it is.
- Practice gratitude – Insults and bullying are only effective when the bully offers you a judgement of you, and you start judging yourself in the same way. Gratitude and judgment cannot co-exist. Start today by having gratitude for what you have – even if seems small and insignificant. Choose to live life as a celebration now, not when everything gets sorted out. For 2 more tools and to read the full article in Inside Small Business, click HERE.